A guy in Paris saw a pit bull attacking a toddler. He killed the pit bull and saved the child's life. Reporters swarmed the fellow. "Tell us! What's your name? All Paris will love you! Tomorrow's headline will be: "Hero Saves Girl from Vicious Dog!" The guy says, "But I'm not from Paris. "Reporters: "That's OK. Then the whole of France will love you and tomorrow's headline will read: 'Hero Saves Girl from Vicious Dog!'" The guy says, "I'm not from France, either." Repor...
A guy in Paris saw a pit bull attacking a toddler. He killed the pit bull and saved the child's life. Reporters swarmed the fellow. "Tell us! What's your name? All Paris will love you! Tomorrow's headline will be: "Hero Saves Girl from Vicious Dog!" The guy says, "But I'm not from Paris. "Reporters: "That's OK. Then the whole of France will love you and tomorrow's headline will read: 'Hero Saves Girl from Vicious Dog!'" The guy says, "I'm not from France, either." Repor...
with regard to the last show I had the misfortune of watching when I thought I could take in a movie one evening, I feel obligated to tell you how I feel about your current programme. No, I was not disappointed. That is part of the problem. I am writing to you about this particular show not because it was the worst show I have ever seen but because it was not. And I do not hope that you change anything about the show because I have seen what happens when you do. The current programme is no...
with regard to the last show I had the misfortune of watching when I thought I could take in a movie one evening, I feel obligated to tell you how I feel about your current programme. No, I was not disappointed. That is part of the problem. I am writing to you about this particular show not because it was the worst show I have ever seen but because it was not. And I do not hope that you change anything about the show because I have seen what happens when you do. The current programme is no...
What will next year's television programme be like? A few examples: 1. Big Brother the Cartoon Instead of professionals randomly selected people of the streets create the art. This can only become a huge success with idiotic viewers. Production costs are nearly nil. As is the cultural value. 2. News for the insane Instead of telling viewers about current events, future events will be talked about; like a mass meeting of television viewers in Bonn or a complete breakdown of the pho...
What will next year's television programme be like? A few examples: 1. Big Brother the Cartoon Instead of professionals randomly selected people of the streets create the art. This can only become a huge success with idiotic viewers. Production costs are nearly nil. As is the cultural value. 2. News for the insane Instead of telling viewers about current events, future events will be talked about; like a mass meeting of television viewers in Bonn or a complete breakdown of the pho...
And again I have no idea what to write about. As do the authors of junk mail, apparently. The last few weeks I have received more and more SPAM that isn't quite clear about what the sender actually wants me to do. Usually SPAM either contains a worm or virus (which my Mac ignores) or a great commercial opportunity: Check out the great deal and great savings offer on all the hottest shows and events! But a new kind of SPAM has appeared, which looks like this: cialis ball sho...
And again I have no idea what to write about. As do the authors of junk mail, apparently. The last few weeks I have received more and more SPAM that isn't quite clear about what the sender actually wants me to do. Usually SPAM either contains a worm or virus (which my Mac ignores) or a great commercial opportunity: Check out the great deal and great savings offer on all the hottest shows and events! But a new kind of SPAM has appeared, which looks like this: cialis ball sho...
A man walks into a bar. Probably. And why not! In fact there are several pubs around where I live. The man might still be there. Now, I have seen a man on the tram this morning. In fact there were several men; and women; colloquially known as "people". I didn't get a seat. Serves me right for being punctual for about the first time in four months. At least my job involves sitting. The Luas, (south) Dublin's new light rail road, leads from Stephen's Green in city centre to Sandyford i...
A man walks into a bar. Probably. And why not! In fact there are several pubs around where I live. The man might still be there. Now, I have seen a man on the tram this morning. In fact there were several men; and women; colloquially known as "people". I didn't get a seat. Serves me right for being punctual for about the first time in four months. At least my job involves sitting. The Luas, (south) Dublin's new light rail road, leads from Stephen's Green in city centre to Sandyford i...
The New Nine Types of Users 1. The Mysterymaker “I disconnected five computers in one of the buildings. Go and find them.” Advantages: User probably didn’t break anything except temporarily. Disadvantages: User creates a lot more work than a user who breaks something for good. Symptoms: User will expect computers to be on the network without a network connection or to work without electricity. Real Case: Temps have very quickly figured out that if they disconnect a compute...
The New Nine Types of Users 1. The Mysterymaker “I disconnected five computers in one of the buildings. Go and find them.” Advantages: User probably didn’t break anything except temporarily. Disadvantages: User creates a lot more work than a user who breaks something for good. Symptoms: User will expect computers to be on the network without a network connection or to work without electricity. Real Case: Temps have very quickly figured out that if they disconnect a compute...
(Again something I wrote earlier for my other Web log.) How to shop. Perhaps one of the most misunderstood yet least interesting ventures of the city dweller of today is the act of shopping for food. How does one do it? Step 1: You have to get up. If you lie in bed all day you won't be able to shop much. Step 2: Check the fridge. If it's still there, it probably needs re-filling. Step 3: Get some cloths on, preferably before you stand before the fridge. Step 4: Get your ke...