(Again something I wrote earlier for my other Web log.)
How to shop.
Perhaps one of the most misunderstood yet least interesting ventures of the city dweller of today is the act of shopping for food. How does one do it?
Step 1: You have to get up. If you lie in bed all day you won't be able to shop much.
Step 2: Check the fridge. If it's still there, it probably needs re-filling.
Step 3: Get some cloths on, preferably before you stand before the fridge.
Step 4: Get your keys and leave your flat.
Step 5: Return to flat, get a bag.
Step 6: Leave flat.
Step 7: Return to flat, get some money.
Step 8: Leave flat.
Step 9: This step is included in case you forgot something else.
Step 10: Leave the building.
Step 11: Go back into the building, close door of flat.
Step 12: Leave the building.
Step 13: Find a supermarket.
Step 14: Enter supermarket, look for food, leave video store.
Step 15: Find a supermarket.
Step 16: Enter supermarket, look for food.
Step 17: Get some food of each of the important groups:
Group 1: Cookies, Coke, Chocolate, Cake, Corn-flakes
Group 2: Bred
Group 3: Milk
Group 4: Apples, Butter, Tea, Ice cream, Bananas, Tomatoes
Step 18: Realising you would have bought cookies, bred, milk, and some apples, rethink your strategy.
Step 19: Look for cash registers.
Step 20: Join the shortest queue.
Step 21: See how all the other queues go faster as at least three of the people in front of you had either no idea that they have to pay for their food, didn't plan how to pay for it, or demand to speak with the manager.
Step 22: Pretend to be the manager. This is always fun.
Step 23: Run.
Step 24: Join another queue.
Step 25: Pay for your food when asked to.
Step 26: Put your food in your bag and leave the supermarket.
Step 27: Walk back to your building.
Step 28: Somewhere between the supermarket and your building you will find your keys.
Step 29: Go look for your keys.
Step 30: Enter your building.
Step 31: Find your flat.
Step 32: Use your key to open the door.
Step 33: Find your kitchen.
Step 34: In the kitchen, find the fridge.
Step 35: Put the food you bought into the fridge.
Step 36: Close the fridge door, close the flat door.
Step 37: That's it.
I admit this is a boring article.