I wrote this years ago when I lived in Germany. It's about an experience with German bureaucracy. Now I live in Ireland and don't find it funny any more. But you might. Today I had to go get a form from this district's internal revenue service agency. Luckily www.berlin.de gives you ample telephone numbers to call to find out where to get the form in question. Of course none of the numbers worked. The telephone rang all right, but even after half an hour nobody answered. It was t...

I wrote this years ago when I lived in Germany. It's about an experience with German bureaucracy. Now I live in Ireland and don't find it funny any more. But you might. Today I had to go get a form from this district's internal revenue service agency. Luckily www.berlin.de gives you ample telephone numbers to call to find out where to get the form in question. Of course none of the numbers worked. The telephone rang all right, but even after half an hour nobody answered. It was t...

What will next year's television programme be like? A few examples: 1. Big Brother the Cartoon Instead of professionals randomly selected people of the streets create the art. This can only become a huge success with idiotic viewers. Production costs are nearly nil. As is the cultural value. 2. News for the insane Instead of telling viewers about current events, future events will be talked about; like a mass meeting of television viewers in Bonn or a complete breakdown of the pho...

What will next year's television programme be like? A few examples: 1. Big Brother the Cartoon Instead of professionals randomly selected people of the streets create the art. This can only become a huge success with idiotic viewers. Production costs are nearly nil. As is the cultural value. 2. News for the insane Instead of telling viewers about current events, future events will be talked about; like a mass meeting of television viewers in Bonn or a complete breakdown of the pho...

A man walks into a bar. Probably. And why not! In fact there are several pubs around where I live. The man might still be there. Now, I have seen a man on the tram this morning. In fact there were several men; and women; colloquially known as "people". I didn't get a seat. Serves me right for being punctual for about the first time in four months. At least my job involves sitting. The Luas, (south) Dublin's new light rail road, leads from Stephen's Green in city centre to Sandyford i...

A man walks into a bar. Probably. And why not! In fact there are several pubs around where I live. The man might still be there. Now, I have seen a man on the tram this morning. In fact there were several men; and women; colloquially known as "people". I didn't get a seat. Serves me right for being punctual for about the first time in four months. At least my job involves sitting. The Luas, (south) Dublin's new light rail road, leads from Stephen's Green in city centre to Sandyford i...

The New Nine Types of Users 1. The Mysterymaker “I disconnected five computers in one of the buildings. Go and find them.” Advantages: User probably didn’t break anything except temporarily. Disadvantages: User creates a lot more work than a user who breaks something for good. Symptoms: User will expect computers to be on the network without a network connection or to work without electricity. Real Case: Temps have very quickly figured out that if they disconnect a compute...

The New Nine Types of Users 1. The Mysterymaker “I disconnected five computers in one of the buildings. Go and find them.” Advantages: User probably didn’t break anything except temporarily. Disadvantages: User creates a lot more work than a user who breaks something for good. Symptoms: User will expect computers to be on the network without a network connection or to work without electricity. Real Case: Temps have very quickly figured out that if they disconnect a compute...

(Again something I wrote earlier for my other Web log.) How to shop. Perhaps one of the most misunderstood yet least interesting ventures of the city dweller of today is the act of shopping for food. How does one do it? Step 1: You have to get up. If you lie in bed all day you won't be able to shop much. Step 2: Check the fridge. If it's still there, it probably needs re-filling. Step 3: Get some cloths on, preferably before you stand before the fridge. Step 4: Get your ke...

(Again something I wrote earlier for my other Web log.) How to shop. Perhaps one of the most misunderstood yet least interesting ventures of the city dweller of today is the act of shopping for food. How does one do it? Step 1: You have to get up. If you lie in bed all day you won't be able to shop much. Step 2: Check the fridge. If it's still there, it probably needs re-filling. Step 3: Get some cloths on, preferably before you stand before the fridge. Step 4: Get your ke...

Steve Jobs throws a fit when somebody gives him a piece of "free" car wash software that refuses to wash his car unless he buys a "car wash subscription".   Previous News from the Future: http://citizenleauki.joeuser.com/article/304727/News_from_the_Future_I  

Steve Jobs throws a fit when somebody gives him a piece of "free" car wash software that refuses to wash his car unless he buys a "car wash subscription".   Previous News from the Future: http://citizenleauki.joeuser.com/article/304727/News_from_the_Future_I  

The Progressive Union for the Advancement of Minorities of Ethnicity, Gender, and Religion are stunned when an orthodox Jewish man is elected president of the USA.