A man walks into a bar. Probably. And why not!
In fact there are several pubs around where I live. The man might still be there.
Now, I have seen a man on the tram this morning. In fact there were several men; and women; colloquially known as "people". I didn't get a seat. Serves me right for being punctual for about the first time in four months. At least my job involves sitting.
The Luas, (south) Dublin's new light rail road, leads from Stephen's Green in city centre to Sandyford in Dun Laoghaire. Some place names here are very difficult to pronounce. In this case, "Dun Laoghaire", is pronounced "dun leerie". It helps to remember than in the Irish language, Roman letters are used to denote which sounds do definitely not appear in the word. It's not true, but it helps.
In the south Sandyford is the terminus. The next stop, about 200 yards from Sandyford is Stillorgan, so called because the actual place called Stillorgan is nowhere near the thing.
Further north lies the next stop, Kilmacud, a Luas stop located in the middle of a desert for all one can see from a train.
Then comes Ballaly. You don't even want to know the wonderful Irish place name the British had to use the term "Ballaly" to make more readable. Ballaly is a Luas stop in the centre of a big new apartment house, advertised as is usual in Ireland for its proximity to the Luas (har har) and the enormous tax advantages you can get when buying apartments there. Paying less tax is an industry in Ireland.
The next stop, if I recall correctly, is Dundrum. Dundrum is famous for being unknown. Few people outside Ireland know of Dundrum. And few people in Dundrum know of outside Ireland. In fact before the Luas, I cannot imagine how anybody from Dundrum ever managed to go anywhere else, even to Dublin city centre. The streets around Dundrum are one big construction site.
The next stop is Windy Arbour. Windy Arbour is plain boring.
Then comes a beautiful big apartment house complex and the associated next stop, Milltown, located next to the most ugly school building I have ever seen in my life.
The next stop is Cowper, located in Cowper. On one side is Cowper Road, on the other is Cowper Drive.
Then comes Beechwood, where I usually get on the Luas on my way south. This is your typical rail road stop followed by a rail road crossing and a small street. The most famous building around Beechwood is Morton's supermarket, so well known in Dublin, it's scary. They can't give change for a fifty Monday morning. And a Luas ticket machine won't accept fifties.
Then comes Ranelagh, a Luas stop on a bridge.
The next stop is Charlemont, another bridge. The Luas stop on that bridge is just above a canal.
Then the Luas leaves its well-marked track and hits the streets. There follow nearly two miles of actual tram path on streets which have caused more accidents every month than one would usually expect in a normal-sized tram system in any European city in a year. The Harcourt Luas stop is located right in front of Harcourt station, a train-station-turned-restaurant.
The next stop is Stephen's Green, right in front of the mall and at the southern end of Grafton Street. Grafton Street is, of course, Dublin's premier shopping street.
I live about ten minutes from Beechwood.
There is another Luas connecting the city centre to south-west Dublin but I am not yet bored enough to write about that.
The man sees the bar keeper and says: "Do you have change for the bus so I can get home to my wife and children?"
And the bar keeper answers: "We don't give change unless you are a customer. I'm afraid you'll have to order a pint or two."
"That suits me fine."