A Leauki's Writings
How to read words in press articles and liberal blogs
Published on July 21, 2005 By Leauki In The Media

This is a living document. I add words and modify definitions whenever I see fit.

"aid"
noun
Expired medication.


"anti-Semitism"
noun
Hostility or prejudice against Jews in the past and theoretically in the present unless targeted at Israel. In fact, classic anti-Semitism and its major crimes ended on May 15 1948.

 

"apartheid"
noun
A terrible crime against humanity caused by Israel. Apartheid happens when Arab nationalists or Muslim fundamentalists are unable to commit genocide against a non-Arab population and when Arabs and non-Arabs have the same legal rights as citizens.

 

"Arabia"
name
A large peninsula south of the Arab homeland (see "Palestine").



"arms deals"
noun, plural
A method used by fascist dictators to be armed and supported by the United States and end up with Russian and French weapons.


"cease-fire agreement"
noun
This term means nothing at all.


"censored"
adjective
Caught lying again.


"Christian fundamentalist"
noun
A Republican voter (see "right-wing extremist").


"CIA"
abbreviation
The symbol of all evil and the incarnation of the capitalist satan. Showing the involvement of the CIA in an incident proves beyond a doubt that the incident was inhumane and caused by greed, usually for oil.


"controversial"
adjective
1. (Content) false.
2. (Person) lying.


"disproportionate force"
noun
Lack of even remotely credible evidence for the thesis that the Jews are guilty of causing the latest conflict between Israel and the "Death to the Jews" crowd.


"diversity"
noun
Dominance by a non-white ethnicity or non-Christian religion. Strict observance of diversity is considered a step towards a colour-blind society.


"documentary"
noun
Film comedy (see "right wing propaganda").


"dubious"
adjective
The activities of a country or alliance that acts quickly, can be relied upon to act as promised, and which has widely known moral values.


"ethnic cleansing"
noun
The mass expulsion or killing of members of an unwanted ethnic or religious group unless said group is one of Jews.


"equal opportunities"
noun, plural
Equal results.


"expansionism"
noun
Israel's policy of defeating Arab countries that try to destroy the Jewish state.


"fairness"
noun
The belief that other people work for free.


"fascist"
noun
1. A politician or voter who does not believe in the moral superiority of self-proclaimed leaders.
2. Libertarian individualist loony with a fascination for guns that is likely not good for him and certainly not acceptable for the left.
3. A Jewish moderate from Judaea or Samaria.


"freedom fighter"
noun
A peace activist targeting Jews (see "peace activist").


"genocide"
noun
Any crime committed by Jews or Americans against any other people. A people can be subject to "genocide" even while its population is growing faster than all surrounding peoples.


"guerilla"
noun
A communist terrorist.


"heroic"
adjective
Attacking civilians, preferably kindergarten children (see "freedom fighter").


"Hitler"
noun
Any individual involved in a conflict between America and Arab nationalists except the dictator with the moustache who gases people.


"human rights"
noun, plural
The privileges Arab nationalists enjoy and their victims do not (see "international law").

 

"illegal"
adjective
Israeli, done by or in Israel


"imperialism"
noun
A political and social system used by tiny states against their giant neighbours in the Middle-East.


"insurgent"
noun
A foreigner coming into a country to kill civilians in protest against democracy.


"international community"
noun
The external authority justifying the rule of brutal dictators and condemning attempts to remove them from power.


"international law"
noun
The principle that tyranny is good, the murder of millions acceptable, and ending either immoral.


"intolerance"
noun
Disagreement with progressive opinion (see "progressive").


"Jerusalem"
noun
An Arab city that is completely unrelated to Jews or Judaism (see "Palestine").


"journalist"
noun
A person whose point of view is also his point of sale.

 

"liberal"
noun
An opponent of the Vietnam war and a supporter of John F. Kennedy

 

"lunatic fringe"
noun
Political faction in American parliament consisting of all Republicans and most Democrats.


"militant"
noun
1. A terrorist or murderer who kills specifically American or Jewish civilians.
2. A Sunni terrorist who attacks Shi'ite civilians in Iraq.


"military fiasco"
noun
Any result of an American invasion that saves hundreds of thousands of lives and that liberals disagree with.


"monopoly"
noun
A situation in which a company uses unfair tactics like very low prices and superior products against competing companies. Very low prices and the existence of competing companies are symptomatic of a monopoly.


"myth of the persecuted Jew"
noun
The logical explanation for why the current attack on Jews or Israel is not to be opposed on principle. The myth of the persecuted Jew derives from two thousands years of persecution which ended exactly before the latest attack and does not in any way include or explain it.


"Nazi"
noun
A person who sides with Israel against the dictatorships that surround it, with ethnic minorities against the dictatorships that rule them, and with small countries against dictatorships that attack them.


"Nazi crimes"
noun, plural
A crime of a nature that is beyond even the levels accepted and encouraged by the United Nations and covered by international law. The threshold depends on race and religion of the criminal and is usually the murder of millions and brutal occupation of half a continent for a non-Jew and for a Jew the expelling of a few thousand people and subsequent refusal to allow re-entrance. (see "international law", see "United Nations")


"Nicaragua"
noun
Proof that current American policy is based on greed and evil.


"nuclear reactor"
noun
An expensive device that produces electricity and would be employed by oil-rich middle eastern countries for only that purpose since, presumably, they have no other power source (see "oil").


"occupation force"
noun
An American peace-keeping force (see "peace-keeping force").

 

"occupied"
adjective
Jewish-owned or otherwise not under Arab control

"oil"
noun
A very valuable liquid that costs less than French mineral water and is the source of enormous wealth for some of the poorest and least developed countries in the world. Oil cannot be used to produce electricity (see "nuclear reactor").



"pacifism"
noun
The idea that tyranny and mass murder is to be preferred over war because war is wrong.

 

"Palestine"
noun
1. The only country in the world which has never had a significant Jewish population in its history (see "Jerusalem").
2. The Arab homeland (see "Arabia").
3. Not a territory created by the British in the former Ottoman Empire.



"Palestinian"
noun
A non-Jewish inhabitant of Palestine and any descendant of such living anywhere else. Some Palestinians are Egyptians. Most Palestinians are Muslims. There are Christian Palestinians, but they are often Palestinians for a shorter time. There are no Jewish Palestinians due to tolerance (see "tolerance").


"peace"
noun
A scenario in which ethnic and religious minorities are slaughtered by nationalist dictators without hope of rescue. This constitutes stability and is a good thing (see "progressive").


"peace activist"
noun
1. Any person who protests American and Jewish influence in the middle-east or the world, regardless of the means employed to make such protest known or the influence he wants asserted instead of American or Jewish such.
2. A prison inmate who regularly attacks other prisoners or guards.



"peace-keeping force"
noun
A non-American occupation force (see "occupation force").


"poverty"
noun
A state of existence that has been identified as the reason for why some of the richest men from the middle east attack some of the poorest members of other societies and their own.


"predominantly unarmed"
adjective
Adjective describing the status of a group who cannot currently kill as many Jews as they want to.


"progressive"
adjective
The political position and belief that stability is more important than democratisation.


"public interest"
noun
A liberal cause (see "special interest").


"racism"
noun
The belief that people should be judged on their achievements rather than their backgrounds (see "racist").


"racist"
noun
Someone who does not take into account another person's ethnicity or culture when judging his actions.


"refugee"
noun
Any non-Jewish person who actually fled some-whence or is remotely related to one who might have.


"refugee camp"
noun
Camps located in Arab countries bordering Israel. Refugee camps are surrounded by 200 million Arabs and Palestinians (see "Palestinian") are forced by Israel to live in the camps. The refugees (see "refugee") living in the camps have considerably fewer rights than the other Arabs in the host country and that is Israel's fault.


"resistance"
noun
The act of murdering an opressive Jew. This is generally done by oppressed minorities who are however free to move into Jewish neighbourhoods and who have determined that the source of the oppression is a school or kindergarden in that neighbourhood. Oppressed minorities have no problem getting weapons and bombs and other equipment required.


"resistance group"
noun
A group of freedom fighters (see "freedom fighter") or peace activists (see "peace activist") who engage in resistance (see "resistance").


"right-wing extremist"
noun
A Democratic/Republican swing voter or conservative Jewish politician (see "Christian fundamentalist", see "lunatic fringe", see "ultra-right-wing").



"right-wing propaganda"
noun
History (see "documentary").


"Saddam Hussein"
name
Leader of Iraq who paid Palestinian freedom fighters for killing Jews (see "freedom fighter") and whose regime had no connection to terrorism. The Anglo-American invasion of his country is now being revenged by Islamic terrorists because there is no connection between Saddam Hussein and terrorism.

 

"segregation"
noun
When Jews and Arabs live in the same city or region. Segregation can only be fought by demanding that the Jews live elsewhere.

 

"settlement"
noun
A place where Jews live as opposed to a place where people live (see "village").

 

"smear campaign"
noun
The act of quoting last year's statements of this year's liberals.


"special interest"
A conservative cause (see "public interest").


"terrorist"
noun
1. Any violent person except insurgents and peace activists (see "insurgent", see "peace activist").
2. An American or Jew involved in a war.
3. An Israeli of any age.



"tolerance"
noun
The ability or willingness to tolerate something that is not a living Jew in "Palestine" (see "intolerance").


"Shah"
title
The one-time CIA-supported (see "CIA") ruler of Iran who ruled since 1941 after being put into power in a CIA-initiated coup in 1953. A committed fascist the Shah allowed the UK and US to send weapons and other provisions to the Soviet Union during World War II thereby severely hurting the German resistance (see "resistance") against allied fascism.

 

"ultra-right-wing"
adjective
Describes whatever political position Israeli foreign minister Avigdor Lieberman currently represents, regardless of how left-wing or liberal it might be. If Avigdor Lieberman has a more moderate position than "Palestinian" president Mahmoud Abbas, Mahmoud Abbas is "moderate", while Avigdor Lieberman is "ultra-right-wing" because he is a Jew.



"unilateral"
adjective
Attribute of any act or decision of a group of countries which does not include France.


"United Nations"
noun, singular
International organisation watching over the world. The main purpose of the UN is to ensure that the world is safe, just, and educated. The logical result is that the world is now UN-safe, UN-just, and UN-educated.


"village"
noun
A place where people live as opposed to a place where Jews live (see "settlement").


"war"
noun
The ensuing event when one country attacks another. Depending on the status of the attacked party a war can be either acceptable to the international community or not. If the attacked party is a dictator prone to slaughtering minorities, a war to remove him is unacceptable (see "international law") and the attack is considered imperialism; if the attacked party is a country with a significant Jewish population, an attack is either considered the desperate act of an opressed people or quickly forgotten.


"war criminal"
noun
A Jew or American involved in a war, for example when under attack.

 

"Zionist"
noun
A middle-eastern Jew. When it is no longer politically correct to murder "Jews", the modern freedom fighter (see "freedom fighter") does not target "Jews" but "Zionists". It is convenient that generally Jews in the middle east are either Zionists (i.e. they moved to Israel) or have been killed by what made the first group move to Israel. The freedom fighter therefor has nothing to change except his rhetoric.

 

 

 


Comments (Page 1)
on Jul 21, 2005
What a terrific dictionary... where can I get a copy to send to the idiots on the far left? lol
on Jul 21, 2005
I am still doing research on the language. But it seems to be very similar to English except for a few words which seem to mean different things.

It's possible that it is slang.

on Jul 21, 2005

That is great.  How long did it take you to put it together?

For a furrener, you sure are hip to the political scene here!

on Jul 21, 2005
It took just a few minutes, really. But I already knew what definitions it would have to be.

As for the political scene, we have socialists in Europe who behave like your liberals and use similar terms with similar meaning.
on Sep 24, 2005
Moderateman has published a similar dictionary: http://moderateman.joeuser.com/index.asp?AID=87485
on Sep 29, 2005
And again a few updates to the dictionary...
on Oct 06, 2005
Updates...
on Oct 06, 2005
Still got it!  I am bookmarking this article!
on Oct 06, 2005
Got a good laugh out of this one. I guess finding myself thinking "amen" to a number of these makes me a conservative?

Dan
on Oct 06, 2005
Not really... I am usually adding to this because of the relief it brings after I read another story about some heroic suicide murderer. Just some time ago I read a story on Google news titled something like "Young Palestinian from Gaza escapes through Israeli border fence", and the story was about a terrorist hiding in a returning empty box of aid goods Israel sent to Gaza (and then killing three Israelis or so when the empty box arrived to be refilled).

I guess you can be completely neutral or even left-wing and still find a number of the definitions funny. The definition of "monopoly" for example does not so much point to hypocrisy or hate but in many ways to a real change of the understanding of economics and government intervention. IOW people now want government to interfere more often but did not find a new word to describe the situation that ought to trigger such intervention.

The definition of "Hitler" is a particular favourite of mine, since I have never understood why the left happily compare Bush to Hitler because of the conflict in Iraq even though the other guy was a real dictator who did gas people, was a member of a national socialist party, AND had a moustache. I guess the left's point would be less ridiculous if there wasn't quite such a coincidence here.

(I, of course, don't think it's a coincidence that there is a resemblance between Hitler and Saddam Hussein, but the left should at least notice a coincidental resemblance if they only looked. The moustache, of course, is a coincidence.)

on Dec 14, 2005
Update!

Modified:

anti-Semitism
peace activist

New:

CIA
Nicaragua
Shah

on Dec 14, 2005
This is great! I laughed until I stopped!

"UN-safe...UN-educated...." love it, love it....

Problem is, the lefties won't see the irony here. They'll just get their panties up in a bunch and call you a Nazi or something.....
on Dec 14, 2005
don't think it's a coincidence that there is a resemblance between Hitler and Saddam Hussein, but the left should at least notice a coincidental resemblance if they only looked. The moustache, of course, is a coincidence.)


Actually Hussein was a devout protogée of Stalin.[Moustache is no coincidence]
Problem is, the lefties won't see the irony here. They'll just get their panties up in a bunch and call you a Nazi or something.....
Oh, for cry'n out loud knock off the bullshit!

on Dec 14, 2005
Still got it! I am bookmarking this article!
What happened to your moderation?

I already knew what definitions it would have to be.
... in light of my predisposition...outrageous fantasizing.
on Dec 14, 2005
A politician or voter who does [not?] believe in the moral superiority of self-proclaimed leaders. The inverse, you mean.
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