Today I give you an excellent candidate for President of the USA, Mr Shmulik Karhon. His message is so simple that even a liberal can understand it yet unlikely to offend even the most Christian of conservatives.
Granted, Mr Karhon wasn't born an American and is, in fact, a penguin. But apart from the minor issue that he will ursurp the presidency to get around that problem he will stick to the constitution and defend America's liberties.
He will also defend fishing rights.
His other proposed policies include:
- Unwavering US support for Israel and Iraq
- Formulation of US claims on Antarctica and defence of those claims in the UN
- Support for more public swimming pools
Mr Karhon is single, Jewish, and, perhaps most important, black and white.