And here it is:
1. Don't burn down stuff and stop killing people.
Now that that is out of the way, or if you are not the type of person anyway, follow the next few easy rules.
2. Don't educate the west, educate fellow Muslims. This is your religion and your rules and thus your problem, not ours.
3. Don't act as if other people made a mistake but learn from your own mistakes.
4. And stop pretending that your prophet is worth more than anybody or anything else. For you he might be, for us he is simply a man. And his philosophy seems more stupid to us every day.
These are the few simple rules you have to follow. It's very easy. None of them are particularly nasty. You can follow them by sitting in a comfy chair for several weeks. Perhaps read the Qur'an, while you are at it.
I believe it tells you not to idolise Muhammed.
That is a smart rule, and one that many of you currently violate. If threatening violence to save a man's honour is not idolatry, then I don't know what is.
You see, it turns out idolatry is wrong. I hope G-d forgives you all.